In PHQP 0013_Navigating Change, Jeff serves up a quick yet insightful chat about tackling change—offering practical tips to turn anxiety into lasting change. Plus, a groan-worthy dad joke to cap it off.

Episode Video

Watch Now: PHQP_0013 Navigating Change

Episode Notes

• Free To Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life

The Navigating Change Transcript

Welcome to Playvolition HQ Podcast, I’m Jeff Johnson. Thanks for pushing play on with the show. So this is going to be a little bit of an abbreviated episode.

I’ve I’m kind of crunched for time this week. I let it get away from me. And I’ve got to head out for a in-person gig in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

I’m going from 75 here at the beach to I think the high temperature on my road trip, it’s going to be 30 degrees. Kind of looking forward to it. I like a snowy cold Michigan.

I don’t know if it’s going to be any snow, but looking forward to it. I say abbreviated episode because I’ve only got one thing on the topic. Although whoever knows how long it’s going to go.

Also, behind the scenes, this is the second time I’ve tried to record this episode because I was about seven minutes in when I realized I hadn’t pushed record. And I’ve been making podcasts for over 12 years. So a little bit of a a learning curve still there for me.

So our one and only topic this week is navigating changes and comfortable stages. So change is a challenge. Change is something that requires you to get out of your current state and do something different, do something new.

And that can be that can be really challenging because it often leaves us feeling uncomfortable and anxious. And those are those are feelings that we like to avoid. And so we often put off change for just the fact that those things, those feelings might might pop into our day.

And this goes for changing things up in your classroom, whether you’re you’re embracing rough and tumble play, which is also the title of Mike Huber’s wonderful book. Or you’re going from craftivities you see on Pinterest to a real process art station. Or the example we’re going to walk through today is is starting putting together a mud kitchen in your classroom.

You can deal with classroom stuff like that, or it comes into play in personal stuff, too, because I do a lot of trainings on on caregiver self-care. And one challenge for caregivers who are going from not taking care of themselves at all, investing very little time in self-care to making it a daily practice is it can get very uncomfortable. It can make them anxious.

They’re worried about failing. They’re worrying about missing the day. They’re they’re beating themselves up because they didn’t start this earlier.

And and so it can come with a lot of discomfort in starting those changes. But we want changes to last, right? So we have to learn to navigate those feelings of anxiety or discomfort or whatever, whatever you’re feeling with change, with feeling happening when change is going on for those things to to last. We have to work through it.

So a caregiver example, right? So you’re a caregiver. You decide you’re going to start your you’re going to start exercising more because, you know, you know, you need to and, you know, it’s good for you. And so you decide, maybe I’m going to start walking three miles every day after work.

That’s great. Great, great idea. And you do it the first day, maybe the second day, maybe the third day you go a mile and a half, maybe the fourth day it’s on your calendar.

You miss completely because you got home from work late and you weren’t feeling it, and so you skipped it. And then you start beating yourself up. I’m a failure.

I knew this wasn’t going to work. I shouldn’t have tried this. And you let those feelings take over and you give up.

People do it all the time. I’ve done it a bazillion times. And this is a problem because then you never get to the change.

And so it’s that uncomfortable bit that we have to teach ourselves to navigate so that we can get to the benefits of the change on the other side. And that’s kind of what we’re going to dig into in this episode. And so I thought that we maybe go through these five stages that kind of exist during change.

And we’ll use we’ll use mud kitchens as an example. So maybe you set up a new mud kitchen on your playground and you looked on on Instagram and Pinterest and you find all kinds of great pictures. And you had some parents come in over the over a weekend and help build this this wonderful mud kitchen.

And you think you’ve got it all figured out how mud plays going to work in your program. You figured out how how kids are going to play there. And you figured out how you’re going to handle cleanup.

And it’s all up in your head. And you’re very excited, inspired. And that’s that’s a good place to be.

We don’t want those feelings to go away. But in this stage, I would recommend that you temper those feelings. Don’t tamp them down.

Don’t extinguish them. But realize that you don’t want to let your expectations get too high. Know that things might not work out as you planned.

In fact, expect things aren’t going to work out as you planned at first. Expect that there’s going to be some sort of learning curve before you get to your perfect vision of mud play, because maybe you’re anticipating the first day of mud play is going to be kids making these beautiful mud pies. And they’re they’re decorating them with the tines of the fork around the edges.

And they’re putting little flower petals on them and and arranging pine cones on them to look all pretty. And everybody’s getting along. And it’s this wonderful thing.

If you’re anticipating that, it might not be that. Because on that first day, what might happen is the five or six kids that want to be in the mud kitchen, or maybe all of the kids want to be in the mud kitchen at the same time. And they end up bickering for the whole outside playtime over who gets which shovel and who gets which bucket and who gets to be in the mud first and all of this stuff.

It ends up into just nothing but three and four year olds arguing and bickering. And you start feeling uncomfortable and doubting yourself. And so here.

One of the best things we can do is first, we anticipate that something like this could happen. We’re prepared for it. But then have a backup plan.

So maybe your backup plan for things not going the way you expected, the way you anticipated is to take a deep breath and step back and observe. And note any changes you can make for the next time you’re playing in the mud. But also one of the other things you can do is you can also realize that this change is new for everybody.

So it’s new for those kids as well. And so if they haven’t had the access to a mud kitchen before, everybody’s going to be interested in probably that first time it’s open. And understand that over time, the kids that are really into mud will be in the mud kitchen every time you come outside.

And the kids who see it as just kind of a passing thing and an option, the kids that are really into climbing will be climbing. And the kids that are really into into reading books under the maple tree are going to be doing that. And then the interest in that mud kitchen is going to wane over time.

But also the kids are going to get to know the materials over time and that bickering is going to go away. Because when it’s fresh and new to the kids, it’s also exciting for them as well. And there’s going to be going to be a little bit more chaos there.

So recognizing that it’s new to them can help you navigate this discomfort and and self-doubt a little bit. So, you know, it’s going to you expect it’s going to happen. And then I guess the best way to say is you go with it when it’s happening.

And that just might it might require a lot of deep breaths, a lot of observation. You can work yourself if you can calm yourself enough to just observe and see what’s going on and see how the kids kids handle it. Because another thing that we want to do in those situations is we want to jump in and fix things.

But when something is as brand new as that, you probably don’t know exactly what’s going to fix it. Right away, and neither do the kids. And so being uncomfortable and letting it roll can be the best choice there.

Again, if it turns into a health or safety thing, if somebody’s going to get whacked with an aluminum bucket, you want to step in then. But mostly we can just step up and step back and observe and take notes about how we can how we can make adjustments. And that’s what happens as you work through that discomfort.

And and excuse me, the anxiety and and self judgment that you might feel when things don’t go perfectly. At first, you start experimenting and making adjustments. Maybe you figure out your plan of having everybody walk to the bathroom all muddy after they’re done and not touch the walls and getting them cleaned up in the bathroom.

Maybe that wasn’t the best choice. Maybe you decide you’re going to start rinsing them off outside. Maybe you’ve got a big bucket of warm water where they can rinse their hands off and and get 80% of the mud off of them before they go into the building.

Maybe you decide you’re going to start squirting them down with the garden hose after mud plays over. Maybe you decide you’re going to let the kids start mixing the mud instead of putting 20 minutes into mixing it yourself, because you figure you realize that that’s a learning process for them. And it saves you 20 minutes every morning from having to be the mud maker.

But whatever it is, you start making those adjustments and doing that experimentation until you figure out what works in your program. Maybe it means more buckets and more shovels. Whatever it is, do that observation in in this stage so that you can take advantage of what what was quote unquote going wrong in in in later in later play.

Later experiences. So experimentation and adjustment is the third stage. And then we’ve got breakthrough and confidence.

After this goes on for a while, you start feeling confident. You figured out how things work in your program. Not because your idealized version of what my play looked like, what my play would be after looking at Instagram pictures is a different reality than how it actually plays out with the specific kids you have in your specific place, with your specific rules and your specific situation.

And so you have this breakthrough and you build confidence. And that’s good. You start feeling successful.

And so it’s like this. You start up. You’ve got this anticipation.

Your anticipation is high and then things maybe are tough and you go down to this value valley and then you start working. You’re working your way up. And at this time, one of the best things you can do is keep doing what you’ve been doing, experimenting and observing and adjusting.

As as things come up, you start building this new habit. You’re you’re probably literally right. Wiring mud play neurons in your brain, making new connections there as you as you learn and experience more about that, that might play experience.

And and then finally, integration and mastery after. A while, maybe days, maybe weeks, maybe months, you start it just becomes part of your process and you feel like you’re a master of it. Maybe two months into mud play.

There are there usually three or four kids now there in your mud play kitchen every day. And you’ve got a process for cleanup. You’ve got the kids trained to to put all the mud, you know, their mud, mud pies they want to save up on a drying shelf and put all the other mud back into a container.

And maybe maybe all the mud tools, the rolling pins and the shovels and all that get stacked in specific area. And everybody rinses their hands and then they’re trained. You’ve got them trained up to keep their fingers off the walls 90 percent of the time when they’re into the building for the final cleanup.

And you start feeling really, really good about yourself. And that’s where we want to get. But that.

That struggle, that struggle back here at the very beginning, if you give up, then you don’t ever get to the experimentation and adjustment or the breakthroughs and confidence or the integration and mastery. And so the biggest thing you can do is continue to work through it. And as you’re going through those struggles, keeping in touch with with peers who have been through the process can be can be a valuable, a valuable process.

We’ll get to that in a minute. I do have a couple of tips that kind of cover that whole process. One is manage those expectations across all of those levels, because you’re not building somebody else’s idealized version of mud play to stick with our example.

You’re building what works in your specific setting with the specific materials and people and time and everything else that are are specific to to your your program. And so you manage expectations, build expectations for for your program, not for the ideal program. Next up is keep it playful.

If you go in to the new thing as a form of play for adults, something where you’re creating the rules and you’re choosing to participate in and you can look it up, all great conditions of play instead of as a as a work, as as something you have to struggle with. Think of it as play. I get to, OK, how do it’s a strategy game is what it really is.

How do I get from here? My discomfort with this new thing to their kids. Engaged in my play and me feeling like I’ve got a certain amount of control and and guidance over it without being too authoritative and those kind of things. So so having that playful mindset can be enough to keep you moving forward.

But then also seek support from an MKO, an MKO, more knowledgeable other. That’s Vygotsky. That’s somebody who has a little bit more information, usually somebody who has a little bit more information or knowledge or experience with the topic.

So if it’s mud play, reach out to programs that have a robust mud play program. Look at books, read articles. The the interwebs can be a wonderful more and more knowledgeable, more, more, more knowledgeable other when it comes to this kind of thing.

So take advantage of that. Keep doing your research from beginning when you’re all excited about it. And especially during during that stage where you’re feeling the discomfort and then beyond, you can’t can’t beat a good, more knowledgeable other.

Wrapping up, let’s get into that. So first thing I suggest do for your for your for your bit of action this week. Do something that’s a little bit uncomfortable, because another thing about this is the more you can get comfortable feeling uncomfortable.

And what I mean there is by learning to navigate those feelings and know that they’re not going to get not going to be a roadblock for you. The easier it becomes. So if you start doing little uncomfortable things, doing bigger, uncomfortable things or doing uncomfortable things, more often it’s a little bit easier because your your brain figures out, hey, this is just what we do.

And so practice can I mean, just doing it repetitions can make it easier. Amazon idea for this week, I don’t have a slide for you, but my recommendation is the book Free to Learn by Dr. Peter Gray. In that book, he he outlines his conditions of play, which I talk about all of the time, but it’s a it’s a marvelous read.

I was lucky enough to get an advance copy with from Peter before the book came out, because he was he was emailing me there about some some things I was working on and is a great book. And he is a great guy. And you will be a better early learning professional after consuming that book.

It is there is a link to it in the episode notes. If you want to check it out on Amazon, it’s available other places as well. It’s a great book.

Next, share the show if you like it, share the Playvolution HQ site if you like their their resources I put in there, I’m putting together there. It just it just helps the excuse me, helps the the brand grow a little bit. You can find me on X if you want to.

Been there for a couple of weeks now. I think I might hang around. I don’t know.

I’m not really into the social media, but I knew I was done with Facebook and Instagram after I I left them a couple of years ago. X Twitter or whatever it is now is something I hadn’t tried before, and it made me the most uncomfortable. So that’s why I decided to go there.

Next week, we’re going to get into the idea of heavy work and spend the whole episode is going to be involved in heavy work stuff. Dad joke of the week. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? It’s OK.

They woke up and went home. Get it. Kid was the kid was napping.

Kid was napping at the playground. And then. And then woke up and woke up and went home.

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