Ever decide to make a change in your life, stick with it for a while, and then have the new habit flop? Probably–it happens to a lot of people. I’m fully familiar with the scenario–some examples: I’m going to write four blog posts a week, I’m going to read 40 books this year, I’m going to workout every day.
I’d start out strong, then begin falling short of my goals, then give up, then feel bad, then mentally beat myself up over failing–yet again. The voice inside my head whispered things like: “You can’t stick with anything, you have no willpower or motivation. AND your nose is big, your ears are pointy, and you’re short.” (My inner voice is a jerk.)
I’m guessing you’ve had at least one similar failing-at-change experience. That’s because it turns out willpower and motivation are limited resources that we humans tend to burn through fairly quickly. In Small Habits Revolution, Damon Zahariades writes “motivation is temporary and fleeting” and “willpower is a finite resource that is steadily depleted from the moment we wake up in the morning.”
One solution Zahariades and others offer to succeed at change in spite of our temporary motivation and finite willpower is to start small. Really small. So small that the change you want to make doesn’t require too much of your limited motivation and willpower. For example, instead of committing to a two mile walk every day after work, try committing to something smaller. Maybe a walk around the block every day is where you need to start. You might need to start even smaller–maybe a commitment to put on your walking shoes every day when you get home from work. That seem like too much? Maybe commit to a couple shoe-less laps around the living room before bed.
Starting small helps build a habit of success and gives you a foundation to build upon. Author BJ Fogg writes in Tiny Habits about how he built a habit of daily flossing. The idea of flossing all his teeth was overwhelming so he started small. His set a goal of flossing one tooth each morning when he brushed his teeth. He could do more once that one tooth was done, but the commitment was to flossing that single tooth. That tiny starting point led him to build a successful flossing habit.
Here’s a personal real world example. I spent years wanting to be a consistant-workout-guy–and years trying, failing, and then berating myself. In the fall of 2019, I started over–smaller. Instead of big goals like an hour in the gym every day or bench pressing X amount by Y date, my goal was tiny.
I committed to going into our home gym every day. If I walked into the space I had succeeded. Of course, once I was there I usually grabbed some dumbbells for a few reps or settled into Downward Dog for a minute or two. Some days I was there for 5 minutes, some days 30. Other days I walked in and walked right back out.
I didn’t miss a day for over six months. Then pandemic-related happenings threw me off the new habit for a few weeks. I was devastated, felt like a failure again, and started over.
As I write this, I’ve worked out every day for nearly 10 months–not missing a day since I got back into the swing of things. From that tiny start, I now maintain a workout routine that I dreamt of (and failed at) for decades. The big payoffs for the small start is that I’m stronger at 52 than I was at 22, I’ve proven to myself that I can succeed at change, and I feel great–a much better real-world outcome than previous attempts at the same goal.
I’ve used the start smaller strategy to make other changes with similar success. It’s helpful if you’re looking at changing up how you do things in your personal life, but it can come in handy when making changes in your early learning setting as well. For example, if you want to create an always-open-for-business mud kitchen in your outdoor play space, you may be more successful if you start small and ease into it. Maybe with small-scale mud play a couple times a week.
The point is to pick a starting point that’s not overwhelming and likely to deplete your limited willpower and motivation.
Check out these books for more on building habits:
Author
Jeff Johnson is an early learning trainer, podcaster, and author and the founder of Explorations Early Learning and Playvolution HQ.
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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Jeff Johnsonhttps://playvolutionhq.com/author/jeff-johnson/
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