What Is Reactance?

Reactance is a psychological reaction occurring when someone feels their freedom is being threatened. It often manifests in a sudden desire to do the opposite of what an authority figure is telling you to do. An example: when I was 12 or 13 back in the early 80s, my mother told me one Saturday afternoon that she wouldn’t drive me to the roller rink that evening. I said I’d walk. She explained I would not and that I was staying home. I walked 4 miles, in the rain, to teach her a lesson. That’s reactance.

The reaction to the intrusion on freedom isn’t always something the person reacting really wanted to do in the first place. I certainly didn’t want to walk in the rain to the skating rink, but I had to do it to prove I was in control and had some power. Also, I really wanted to hold hands and couples skate with a beautiful girl I was madly in love with and whose name I don’t currently remember. She was flattered that I walked in the rain to see her and kissed me at the end of the evening before convincing her mother to drive me home. The kiss tasted like roller rink nachos.

Another reactance story: A few years later, in 1986, the parents of a sweet blonde with twinkling eyes and a gorgeous smile told her they didn’t like the guy who’d been hanging around. We’ve been married for over 30 years.

But reactance isn’t just for rebellious teens. Young children assert their independence and autonomy in this way as well. Toddlers continue crawling up slides after they’re told it’s not allowed. Preschoolers cram handfuls of chips into their mouths after being told they’ve had enough. Schoolagers defiantly continue with their screen time when told their time was up 20 minutes ago.

Reactance is a natural human reaction that can generate considerable motivation. I’m certain that years before Nicholas-Jacques Conte invented the modern pencil in 1795 that someone in authority told him he could do no such thing. It can also lead to irrational and reckless behavior. For example, part of my rebel walk to the rink took me along a dark stretch of road where there was no sidewalk. Walking along the gutter in the dark while dressed in black on a rainy night wasn’t the safest or most thoughtful thing I’ve ever done.

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