Quote
…“Good job!” isn’t a description; it’s a judgment. And that has unsettling implications for how children are likely to perceive how we feel about them. Instead of “I love you,” what praise may communicate is “I love you because you’ve done well.” It’s not necessary for us to say that in so many words— which, of course, almost no one does. All that’s required is that we do it—that is, express love and show excitement only under certain conditions. (By the same token, love withdrawal often takes place even though the parent doesn’t actually say , “I don’t love you because you haven’t done well.” In both cases, the message comes through loud and clear anyway.)
Quote ID: 00992
Author
Alfie Kohn
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We participate in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliate sitesSales made via Amazon links on Playvolution HQ support the site
We participate in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliate sitesSales made via Amazon links on Playvolution HQ support the site
Author
Jeff Johnson is an early learning trainer, podcaster, and author who founded Explorations Early Learning, Playvolution HQ, and Play Haven.
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