About Tarry Time

Tarry time, according to an article by Deborah Carlisle Solomon, Author of Baby Knows Best, “was coined by RIE Associate Diana Suskind to describe the time between when you tell your baby what’s going to happen and when you walk out of the room to the kitchen, pick up your baby, or unsnap his pajamas. Since babies take longer to process verbal communication than adults do, when we proceed full steam ahead, it feels abrupt to them. Look and wait for a cue that he’s ready.”¹

In an essay entitled The Importance Of Tarry Time, Suskind writes, “Only by waiting what seems like a very long time can you observe the actual reactions of your baby to your actions. It is equally important to not push it by expecting that when we say something there should be an immediate response. It doesn’t work that way.”

The new-to-the-world brains of young children are unable to process information as quickly as adult brains. Numerous neural pathways need to form, and many of those need to be pruned, before children’s brains can process information as efficiently as adult brains.

Stephanie G. Cox writes, “Tarry time is when we give children ages birth to five a few moments to process verbal stimuli. The young brain takes longer to process new experiences. Giving children time to process and respond to us is very helpful. For example, waiting ten seconds before repeating a request can allow the child to cooperate. It is developmentally inappropriate to expect young children to always respond immediately…. Parents and caregivers may find tarry time is beneficial for them too. When confronted with a stressful situation, taking time to count to ten can help us remain as calm as possible.²

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1. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-gift-of-slowing-down_b_4454486
2. https://discipliningwithgentlefirmness.com/tag/tarry-time/