
I observed the disobedient play at a local park that an art fair had descended upon for a weekend. A slender 4-year-old redhead was having difficulty keeping her curious hands off the intriguing and often breakable items. Or at least that’s what I thought at first.
Further observation revealed she was more curious about her parent’s reactions to the touching than the items themselves. With a defiant twinkle in her eye, the sprightly preschooler grabbed a piece of pottery immediately after Dad reminded her (again) to “Point with T-rex arms” instead of touching.
Mom yanked her from the booth, scolded her, and threatened that there’d be no ice cream later if she kept it up. The playful pixie smiled through the scolding.
In the next booth, she invented what we’ll call “The Touching Stuff When They’re Not Looking Game.” Knowing she may be caught at any moment, she sneakily traced her fingers across details in paintings of fiery sunsets, basking pelicans, and crashing waves.
A bit later, with a smirk, her disobedience was out in the open again as she swept her arm through a display of wind chimes, creating an extraordinary tinkling and shimmering. “That’s it! No ice cream!” growled her Mother.
Disobedient Play Wrap Up
The denial of a delightful frozen treat did not bend or break our disobedient protagonist. She was composed and tranquil, watching her parents become neither of those things.
Was she a ‘bad’ kid? Maybe.
Mostly, I think, she was trying to make the best of being someplace she didn’t want to be doing something she didn’t want to do. She was engaged in power play. Her disobedient play focused on seeing how far she could push her parents, not on causing damage to paintings and pottery. She was experimenting on them, pushing their buttons, seeing how they’d react. All that hands-on contact with the arts and crafts was very gentle, she had a light touch.
I wonder if they gave in and got ice cream anyway?
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Jeff Johnson is an early learning trainer, podcaster, and author who founded Explorations Early Learning, Playvolution HQ, and Play Haven.


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