Today is my wedding anniversary! Paul and I have been together for a total of thirteen years now (what?!) and four years ago we flew from England to get married in New York City. Eighteen months later we flew from England again to live in Arkansas for Paul’s work. A LOT of stuff has happened in the past four years, let alone the past thirteen! The one thing however that remains the key to our lives together is play. Just look at this photo for a prime example!
We have always been excited to plan adventures, do silly things and just make each other laugh. The concept of us leaving our home, our families, our friends all boils down to the love we share and our keen sense of ‘let’s do it!’ This to me is an aspect of play! Being playful with your ideas, your wants and needs and having a play partner!
In terms of my own well-being, a big part of my self-care actually comes from Paul himself. Him just being there when I feel down, making me eat when I hadn’t all day, letting me nap during the day when I really should have stayed awake so I would sleep better at night, encouraging me to call my mum or text my sister, getting me to make plans with my friends so I had something to look forward to…all of these little things our partners do all help us to look after ourselves better.
Now, the good thing about this for all you single people out there, is that all of this STUFF can be done by yourself. You can use the power of love to love yourself. And ironically, this is the biggest thing I have learned from the past thirteen years of being in a relationship. As RuPaul quite rightly says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?” Being in a relationship and having someone there is one thing, but you have to learn to love yourself.
This Self-Care Sunday, take some time to feel the love. Write a love letter to yourself noting all the fabulous things about you. Take time to chill out, relax and pamper yourself a little. Text a friend and tell them how much you love them. Talk to your bestie, your parents, your hairdresser, the checkout employee at your local shop, the bus driver, the guy who let’s your car out at a crossing first, your cat, your dog…whoever it is, tell them how much you appreciate them and spread some love today – but make sure you love yourself first! ????