I once had a child break down in tears and with her head in her hands told me, “I’m a bad kid.” ???? I talked with her about why she felt like this and wondered who had put this idea in her head. She said, “Me. I told me. I’m a bad kid.” When I … Continue reading The Kindness Pot
Whether you're a parent or professional caregiver, chances are there are some things children do that annoy you, irritate you, push your buttons, scratch your last nerve, or burrow under your skin. Back in my community center director days, it was the snotty eye-rolls I got from school-age kids when I requested they not throw the pool cues, or suggested they at least look at their homework, or begged that they not pee in the bathroom electrical outlet...again. As a father, it was usually the behavior my kids displayed that reminded me most of myself--my daughter's cutting snark and sarcasm, my son's cocky smirk.
...now there's the study that says parental burnout is a very real thing affecting both moms and dads today. Really?I had no idea! (cue sarcasm font.)
Can parents burn out? The aim of this research was to examine the construct validity of the concept of parental burnout and to provide researchers which an instrument to measure it.
My kids have headed back to school this week. We’ve had a fun, eventful summer. I loved having them home and have enjoyed their company. I put a lot of effort into keeping them busy while I worked, and also making sure we made fun memories together. But after going back-to-school shopping, attending school orientations, scrambling to get all their supplies, ice cream socials, and team meetings, I am done.
And by done, I mean I’m burnt to a crisp.
The result is that as we become more exhausted, we tend to disengage and become more emotionally remote from our youngsters as a means of self-preservation. We meet all their physical needs but become less sensitive and responsive to them at other levels.
This not only impacts on the kids but also on our spouse or partner and, at this point, guilt and, potentially, depression can set in.