Unconditional Parenting | Quote 00702

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Announcing how we plan to punish children (“Remember, if you do x, then I’ll do y to you”) may salve our conscience because we gave them fair warning, but all we’ve really done is threaten them. We’ve told them in advance exactly how we’ll make them suffer if they fail to obey. This communicates a message of distrust (“I don’t think you’ll do the right thing without the fear of punishment”), leads kids to think of themselves as complying for extrinsic reasons, and emphasizes their powerlessness.

Quote ID: 00702

Author

Alfie Kohn

Source

Unconditional Parenting

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