If all we cared about was getting them to do something, or to stop doing something, right now, while we’re standing there, then we’d have to admit that it sometimes works to use our power to coerce that behavior— for example, by threatening, punishing, or loudly demanding. But only sometimes. On balance, the kids who do what they’re told are likely to be those whose parents don’t rely on power and instead have developed a warm and secure relationship with them. They have parents who treat them with respect, minimize the use of control, and make a point of offering reasons and explanations for what they ask.
Quote ID: 00052
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