Category: Janet Lansbury

No Bad Kids | Quote 02815

It’s always hardest to remember to acknowledge a child in the heat of a difficult moment, but if a child can hear anything during a temper tantrum, it reassures him to hear our recognition of his point-of-view. “You wanted an ice cream cone and I said ‘no’. It’s upsetting not to get what you want.”

No Bad Kids | Quote 02813

Children need rules for behavior, but their emotional responses to the limits we set (or to anything else, for that matter) should be allowed, even encouraged. Toddlerhood can be a time of intense, conflicting feelings.  Children may need to express anger, frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and disappointment, especially if they don’t get what they want because we’ve set a limit. A child needs the freedom to safely express his feelings without our judgment.

No Bad Kids | Quote 02759

Withdrawing our affection as a form of discipline teaches a child that our love and support turns on a dime, evaporating because of his momentary misbehavior. How can that foster a sense of security?

No Bad Kids | Quote 02751

Parents sometimes fear they will crush a child’s spirit if they are firm and consistent about rules. Truthfully, it is the other way around. A child does not feel free unless boundaries are clearly established.

No Bad Kids | Quote 02738

Acknowledging an infant or toddler’s point-of-view can be magically calming, because it provides something he desperately needs – the feeling of being understood. A simple affirmation of our child’s struggles, “You are having a hard time getting those shoes on. You’re really working hard,” can give him the encouragement he needs to persevere through his frustration.

No Bad Kids | Quote 02731

Children do not usually admit this, but they do not wish to be all powerful, and the possibility that they might be is frightening indeed. Children raised without firm, consistent boundaries are insecure and world-weary. Burdened with too many decisions and too much power, they miss out on the joyful freedom every child deserves.

No Bad Kids | Quote 02708

Toddlers are definitely capable of cooperating, but they need to be taught through respectful feedback, corrections, and modeling rather than being tricked, manipulated, or coerced.

No Bad Kids | Quote 02703

When children feel ignored, or even just a bit out of favor with us, it rattles them, and fear shows up in their limit-pushing behavior. Reassuring hugs, kisses, and “I love you” will certainly help to mend these bridges, but the messages of love that matter most are heard  through our patience, empathy, acceptance, respectful leadership, and the genuine interest we take in knowing our child.

Elevating Child Care | Quote 02475

Toddlers want what they see, and that object becomes theirs. ‘Mine’ can mean either: I see it; I want it; or I’m using it. The idea of ownership —the concept that dad or mom bought an item at the store so now it belongs to them —is not entirely understood by a toddler.

Elevating Child Care | Quote 02378

To experience true freedom and happiness, kids need gentle leaders who are clear about house rules and expectations. They need a healthy balance between freedom and boundaries.

Elevating Child Care | Quote 02376

Toddlers want what they see, and that object becomes theirs. ‘Mine’ can mean either: I see it; I want it; or I’m using it. The idea of ownership —the concept that dad or mom bought an item at the store so now it belongs to them —is not entirely understood by a toddler.

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